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~mary-o-nette

Jessica Beebe
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Jesus And Drugs

Mon Nov 12, 2007, 8:39 AM
  • Mood: Thanks
  • Listening to: Marilyn Manson~If I Was Your Vampire
I would like to explain my morbid fascination with religion and drugs. Simply put Jesus saved me from drugs. He is my savior and showed me a better life without the burdens ofme getting my next high or if I would even get high enough. I owe him everything for what he has done for me.

My fascination with drugs has merged into something quite strange. I don't look at drugs the same way I used to: like a greedy user waiting for my turn while licking my lips. I now look at drugs with a weird sort of curiosity. I look at them like a child in a zoo who has just laid eyes on a creature that she has never seen before. The child watches the creature, eat, sleep, and walk;all the while staying just as curious. Drugs are my creature and I look at them with curiousity. I never want to get in the cage with that creature, but I don't mind watching it from the other side of the glass. At least I know I'm safe and won't get hurt.

Cocaine, weed, XTC, and alcohol were my D.O.C.(drugs of choice). I have now stopped all but one. I still drink, but in moderation.


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Cocaine ~~> _________________//.. . .. .. . . . .

13 Comments

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:iconcaptainkid86:
~captainkid86 Nov 12, 2007, 9:08:52 AM
i've never used drugs myself but I understand the curiosity, its like something dark and unknown that you want to look and and maybe feel but it may only hurt.

I try to believe and like talk to god best I can when I feel that like I need someone to talk to by myself and I don't need to step over my words, I can say exactly how I feel but most of the time with what goes on in my head, i'm hardly feeling like a christian, just someone stumbling.
:iconmary-o-nette:
Mood: Worried ~mary-o-nette Nov 12, 2007, 9:21:00 AM
Drugs are horrible don't get started on them. Things are never the same. Your thought process gets all messed up. I don't do them anymore, but I still have my days when I want to call one my old friends and see what is in their goody bags just so I can get messed up. It's a horrible feeling when you are sitting at your computer or reading and then all the sudden your mind just goes, "I really want a few lines of coke." It happens to me at least a few times a week. I used to get high all the time too. I have been really wanting to smoke weed recently again, but I know that I cannot. Once you do drugs there is really truly no going back because that temptation of them is always in the back or in some people's cases the forefront of their mind.
:iconazularts:
*azularts Nov 12, 2007, 9:46:41 AM
wow!! It takes only a few months to get over those.. but the mood sucks on the meanwhile.

--
AZUL ALMAZAN [link]
[link]

Craziness opens new portals.
:iconcaptainkid86:
~captainkid86 Nov 12, 2007, 10:00:49 AM
yeah I don't think I ever wanna touch them, my brothers an ex user and he still has problems with it now, but I love him through it
:iconmary-o-nette:
~mary-o-nette Nov 12, 2007, 10:56:31 AM
yeah umm do you have aim or something that we can talk on???
:iconmary-o-nette:
~mary-o-nette Nov 12, 2007, 10:57:25 AM
its been about 3 months since i quit everything im doing pretty good and my bf helps me too he doesnt like drugs so he isa very nice support system
:iconazularts:
*azularts Nov 12, 2007, 11:21:32 AM
I know the feeling... it is super hard. the best thing is to stay in a completely drug free environment for a while.... But still you get to miss the feeling an risk here and there...i did almost all of them Dude.. i am clean since may.. but i still feel really tempted to a look for it. but every week i my craving is less.

--
AZUL ALMAZAN [link]
[link]

Craziness opens new portals.
:iconmary-o-nette:
~mary-o-nette Nov 12, 2007, 11:30:07 AM
It had gotten to the point that iIwas doing drug runs for my mom and the funny thing is once I had about an ounce of weed in my car, 8 tabs, and 10 bags of coke in my car and i was driving home. WE were going to get shrooms but it fell through so I would have had those too.That's one of the nights I realized that I had had enough..a few weeks after that I quit everything. It was too risky..too scary.

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If you can't find something to live for you had better find something to die for...
:iconazularts:
*azularts Nov 12, 2007, 11:38:59 AM
Woow... Crazy but lucky you were stable enought for not getting cought by shitty police.. I got 15 tab once in 2 days and coca, and i was in a meeting with General Electric clients... and lucky me i was in such a great mood, and we got amazing profit out of that...
but afterwards my energy went to zero for soo long and my nose got so messed up that i decided to slow it down.. I did t again differently because i do love drugs, and I was getting really close to dangerous people.. I didn't want to risk my love once.. Thats why i stooped for a bit.. But i never told any of my relatives about so i would just keep it to myself and nobody would make a big deal out of it.. i had my own issues to deal with.
Dude, i was in TEXAS too

--
AZUL ALMAZAN [link]
[link]

Craziness opens new portals.
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